The existential rabbit hole is a journey of no return. Anyone who has stepped into the seduction of self-inquiry realizes that if they pursue this path, their life will never be the same. And so, they are confounded by two options: one, abandon the quest early and swiftly; or, follow it to its bitter end.
Luckily, the frenzy of daily living inoculates us from this dangerous sort of introspection. Why is it dangerous? Well, simply because no one can help you with it. No one can inhabit your consciousness with you. And perhaps that’s the crux of loneliness, the cornerstone of existential anxiety. It’s a stone better left unturned, a path better left untraveled.
No person, place or thing, can palliate the angst aroused by self-inquiry. Because the truth of the matter is that no one can solve the riddle of “who am I and why am I here”.
No psychologist can liberate you of the restlessness provoked by a completely rational question (why do I exist at all?). In fact, the DSM diagnosis for a preoccupation of this kind, may be that of hyper-rationality; a mental illness elicited by simply thinking too thoroughly.
So most of us avoid the question entirely, because the end result is too harrowing to confront. Self-inquiry forces us to ask, why live? Why put a herculean effort into living, when life amounts to nothing at all, if existence even exists at all?
And those of us who do ask, quickly discover that we are entirely alone in the cosmos. And we rightfully walk the tightrope of insanity until we are tugged back into another dismal distraction.
And so, we spend the majority of our lives skirting around the fact that we are alone. Alone in a family, alone in a friendship, alone in love.
An Existential Insecurity